Tuesday, September 30, 2008
whee im one year older!its so fast, one year has passed.
reaching fourteen years of my life.
i have learnt plenty,
been through lots,
struggle much,
and found meaning in life.
birthdays to me are'nt just about presents,
its also about reflecting about my life.
fourteen years passed,
and today i ask myself,
what have i learnt, achieved, lost and could have done to make things better in the past fourteen years.
14 years ago,
i entered this world.
14 years later,
im here typing this.
14 years down the road,
who would i become,
and what would have become of me?
all these lie in the hands of fate and destiny.
i learnt much more about struggling,
that life could'nt be life without it.
i learnt to be more understanding.
i learnt that no matter how dark life is,
that if we try,
there will be light.
i learnt to trust more,
and i learnt that happiness is mine to get.
i achieved happiness.
understood what true happiness means.
im glad to say,
and i hope im not wrong,
that i achieved the power to trust.
im not someone who always ponder on what i lost,
cos what's lost is lost,
gone.
but there could be ways to get it back,
if we try,
put in effort.
miracles dont happen, it only happens if we put in effort.
does that sound familiar?
ok back to me.
i lost myself quite a few times this year,
but im happy i regained the real me.
through losing myself,
i learn too.
i learn to pick up myself after a fall.
through these experiences,
i become stronger,
happier!
i could have done lots to make many things better,
like being more understanding.
i dont live my life with regrets,
so i dont say,
"i should have done"
instead i would say
"i will do it next time".
i want to thank God for being with me all through my 14 years of life.
for letting me be educated under canossian siprituality,
for letting me know charity, humility and forgiveness.
i would'nt be who i am today if i was'nt under canossian education.
i want thank God for blessing me, my family and friends with health and safety.
i want thank God for helping me through exams, challenges, fears and the toughest times.
let me quote a few prayers from daily canossian.
bless us o God,
with the love of you and direct our lives so that we may be a visible sign of your love and forgiveness to all.
forgive me Lord for the time when i choose to be selfish and unloving. help me to live in such a way so that i can be freed of my own selfish disires, which stop me from loving others around me.
Lord, may our hope be strong in the face of all that makes us despair, frightened or helpless.
grant that we will always be ready to forgive others who hurt us. Amen.
its been a long time since i last read those prayers...
my birthday wish, the present i really want--everyone around me to be happy, truely happy. that's enough to put a million smiles in me. :)
yes, thank you people for the presents and wishes!
salina, your cookies were great!
teach me how to bake!
khairudy, you can start counting down my 15th birthday! :]
jing yi and venus, i think i need to learn how to differentiate a leopard, cheetah and a jaguar, then i'll know what is it. hahaa.
joe yee. yeah im as old as you now!
krismine, thank you for the FROGGIES!!! and your cookies were great too! teach me how to bake also!
thank you once again people! :)
and im glad you know that escaping is deceiving.
prezzies!
cookie from salina!
cookies from krismine!
birthday cake!
Monday, September 29, 2008
hey people,i wont be blogging until the end of exams,
10 october.
and,
GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS!!! :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING LAST WHOLE WEEK?!?!salina,
i told u on monday,
that i'll be back by next week.
i think i dint complete my sentence,
the real me will be back by next week.
ok,
probably nobody knows what is happening to me,
cos i myself dunno too,
but what's for sure now is that i am thinking straight again.
i think the last whole week my mind was just giving me a great challenge,
made me think so much.
but of course now everything is over,
and i feel quite stupid having to dread over something that i dont even know what it is.
haha.
IM BACK!
i'll try my best to be the optimistic and positive me again.
i want to thank God for letting me have that week,
thinking so much,
though i also dunno what i was thinking,
but it allowed me to see my life brighter and happier,
and be able to appriciate the people around me better,
never to take them for granted,
and letting me know how important they actually are,
that my life actually collaspe without them.
nearing fourteen years of my life,
i learn something new,
that we struggle through some moments to see light.
and im feeling more positive than ever. :)
yes,
and i want tell this to everyone,
that your teenage years are the most memorable parts of ur life,
where u grow up.
so instead of being so weighted down,
why not appreciate the things around u now?
and atiqah,
probably u dunno,
nobody knows,
that ur that sentence was what set me thinking positively again from my i-dunno-what-i-was-thinking mind.
"friends come by easily,
true friends dont,
so if u grab hold of one,
dont EVER let it go".
u were'nt saying it to me though,
but u saved me from my wild mind somehow.
haha.
oh yesyes,
one last important thing,
im trusting again. :)
Friday, September 19, 2008
i thank God so much for letting me have cca today,if not im afraid i could have died.
oh Lord,
please give me the energy and concentration to study.
i really wanna study without distractions.
i wanna memorise my science, history,
understand my maths and literature.
and please save me from the headache.
this i ask through Christ our Lord. Amen.
oh yes,
HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY BERNICE [madpig] !!!
dunno if u still rmb me anot,
but i still do rmb ur birthday!
u are 11 months and 19 days younger than me.
haha.
hope you are doing well in sec 1,
all the best for exams! :)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
there are so many things i wanna say,but i dunno where to start from.
ok, maybe i should begin from here.
first of all,
krismine,
i wanna say sorry to you.
i was'nt able to relate what you were going through all these while.
joe yee and salina,
u might be thinking why did i ask u both that two questions out of the blue.
like ur answer joe yee,
i dont know why too.
i wish i knew,
not that im delibrately hiding something from u guys.
i just wanna wake up from my fantasy world.
all along i was thinking or rather dreaming that this world is so fantastic,
so flawless,
so perfect.
i just realise i was wrong.
or am i really wrong?
thats the reason why i ask that question.
IDONTKNOWWHATISHAPPENINGTOMYSELF,
thats why i asked,
and i wish someone could guide me through.
i just lost something that was so important to me,
and i will never want to lose it ever again.
like the lyrics in one of westlife's song,
"u cant lose what u never have".
so i wont want to have it anymore,
in order not to lose it.
and that's trust.
i want time to move back.
i want to experience the time in march to july this year again.
krismine, you're not the only one missing everything.
i miss the trueness,
i miss the laughter,
i miss the sacarstic remarks,
i miss the freedom,
i miss the trust,
i miss the warmth,
i miss the never-closing-up,
i miss the support,
i miss the encouragement,
i miss all the real happiness,
i miss everything that seem to be in the past!
wrote this in class on wednesday with salina giving comments.
but pls note,
IMNOTTHEPERSONA!
"its like a swing,
but i wont swing with you.
all i can do is to hold the swing
never to let it move, never to let the wind blow.
i'm sorry,
cos im afraid that while i swing with you,
i will fall
and when i fall,
you're still up there swinging
unaware that im below, hurt and lost.
i dont want my wound to make you swing even more
so all i can do now,
is to hold you,
and never let you fly into another world.
please forgive me,
for not holding you right from the start"
copyrighted cheri=]
what can you infer from this text? [i know i sound like miss palai]
see it as friendship, relationship, kinship or whatever ship,
its up to the reader to decide what it means,
the person who write just writes in this case.
nevermind.
once again,
i will treat everything as another challenge God is giving me.
there are so many people out there fighting for their lives,
i must too.
what am i compared to the pain those in the third world country are facing?
nothing.
yes,
im not all that optimistic,
but im also not all that pessimistic.
i wont make myself emotic,
for what?
stupid right.
ok no more tears,
no more fears,
start a day with a smile!
tomorrow would be so much fun,
going to elias park pri with sec 2 guides. [this is what i call clinging on to even the smallest glimpse of happiness]
shall stop here,
must study!
haha ok byee..
Monday, September 15, 2008
if someone was noticing, i was doing something all day in class today.but no one did,
im both glad and upset,
cos its myself at the end of the day.
God, please lead me back on the right path,
dont cover me up,
let the true me emerge once again.
AND ASYRAF, I WHAT A "NICE" URL FOR YOUR BLOG.
KEEP THE COOKIES FOR YOURSELF!!!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
hohoho went to woodlands sec today,sat in ms chua's car,
haha got dog smell..
the school is damn gigantic luh,
about twice the size of our school.
me and yu wen wanna go toilet end up getting lost..
haha.
then saw siew may and another guide from fuchun sec, from GG NDP.
we made a video using moviemaker,
which most of us know alr,
cos we used it for geog project this year.
but nevertheless this gives me a chance to make a video for my 2 years of guiding in prcs.
the laptops in woodlands sec keep hanging,
mine hang four times!
then a lot of pictures went missing,
bleh if not my video would be longer.
and i spelt two most important words wrongly,
"guiding" i missed out "i" so it became "guding".
then ms chua i spelled as "ms chu".
goshhh,
ms chua dunno yet,
wait until tuesday i die! xDD
hahaa.
we also had the chance to view past years guiding photos from ms chua,
haha saw yan mae and annette's sec 1 pic in two ponytails!
hahahahaa.
then i took last year's unit photo, and this year's calamansi cuties outdoor cooking pic.
after the course i took ms chua's car again,
squeezed with jolin, jia ning and yu wen at the back.
and we found out miss chua likes that gary singer,
and i was like "gary the snail".
haha.
went back to school,
then head for whitesands for luuuuunchhhh!!
jolin, dawnie, windsey and me all bought an ice cream keychain,
all four of us different colours.
then we slacked at library for a while before we went home.
ahh too bad cannot upload the video..
but there are the pics..
woodlands sec!
thats us in woodlands sec!
their com lab
they have this in their school..
their dustbin..
ms chua's car..
ms chua!
ms chua driving..
first day of this year's camp..
calamansi cuties outdoor cooking. i look retarded.
me and jolin in ms chua's car
yu wen and jia ning in ms chua's car
our four ice creams..
Friday, September 12, 2008
busy busy this whole week.so what happened this week..
study study..
then tuesday cca we got out new patrols.
im now in sparrow, B1.
together with jon yi, kimberly, diyana, cindy and rui xin.
bye ixora!
and now im in 2nd company alr.
haha different company looks different,
not used to it.
then today cca had fun,
play play,
cos ms chua was here.
if she's here every session,
guides would be so much more lively.
haha.
then had a lot of activities coming up,
hah fun!
guides should be like that right from the start.
tomorrow going woodlands sec to for a moviemaker workshop,
my main aim of going is to interact with the guides there,
not so much for the course.
hahaa.
ok so thats all for the week.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
finally its 6 sept..my dear joe yee,
HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY!!!!!
may this be the start of your happy days ahead,
let the 14th year mark the smile! :)
oohhs and you're one year O-L-D-E-R than me already.
haha,
OLDER!
okok so have the happiest birthday!!!:DD
Thursday, September 04, 2008
BORINGBORING~holidays are boring.
wake up,
study,
eat,
sleep.
wake up,
study,
eat,
sleep.
thats my boring routine.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
sungei buloh trip cancelled!instead we went pasir ris park.
cos they say there got alot of mosquitoes,
maybe can have dengue.
the theory part was BORING luh!
and joe yee could find it interesting??
oh yes,
it was a wonderful time keeping joe yee in suspense!
hahaha!
damn fun can!
dun let her look at her present!
let her have her taste of her own medicine,
that time krismine's birthday she did the same too.
hahaha.
then i chose an auspicious hour to give her the present,
10.01am!
but we were not on the bus yet,
so in the end drag for very long,
on the bus then gave her.
hahahaha!
very fun very fun!
im waiting for saturday to arrive then can finally wish her happy birthday.
AND JOE YEE, YOU'RE GONNA BE ONE YEAR OLDER THAN ME!
i remember i have ballet today!~
picture time!
where we get our water samples!
our pail..
this is the disgusting dead lizard that the ants love.
me and venus!:)
Monday, September 01, 2008
i am really sorry.
i know i should'nt have said that.
but its not that i doubt u or what,
like what i told u,
its not the lack of trust,
its the need to know.
sorry,
i know i should'nt have thought that way,
but the thinking came when it was the time of misunderstandings,
not now.
and i was pondering if i should i ask u.
i know im selfish to ask that,
i feel as bad asking.
i am sorry.
went out with venus and salina today to buy present.
met venus at my house here,
then walked to tampines mall together.
shopped for my cardigan,
which in the end i dint buy,
could'nt make up my mind on which one should i buy.
walk walk walk around,
finally bought the perfect gift.
then went venus' house do something.
hmmm..so secretive..
haha.
shall not reveal what we do here.
us in a shop where venus bought her hair extension..
met venus at my house here,
then walked to tampines mall together.
shopped for my cardigan,
which in the end i dint buy,
could'nt make up my mind on which one should i buy.
walk walk walk around,
finally bought the perfect gift.
then went venus' house do something.
hmmm..so secretive..
haha.
shall not reveal what we do here.
us in a shop where venus bought her hair extension..
