Saturday, March 29, 2008
life's changing a lot.for the better or for the worse im not sure.
for now i only know,
im different from last year.
maybe not totally different,
but i can sense myself changing.
what can i do?
perhaps just try to focus on what i really want.
and what i really want?
im at a total lost.
i want to start anew,
but how long would i have to wait?
or forever it'll be like that?
all these questions just keep poping up,
and answers dont accompany them.
however i cant complain much,
cos theres someone going through much more than me.
so this is my advice,
whether u see it anot,
i wanna let you know i'll help you.
you helped me once,
you made the path which i wanted to take brighter,
and thus my decision came clearer,
for the important choice i had to make last year.
i know maybe it came to you a little too quick.
you're more confused than i am,
you dont really know what to do next.
your're filled with anger, sadness, awkwardness, frustration each time it happens.
sometimes you may ask "why did i end up like this?"
for all you know,
you're trying your very best to be yourself.
let me assure you, that there's nothing wrong with you,
if others are jealous, its their problem.
they live in misery,
but you dont have to.
thay want you to join them in their unsecure life.
dont let them win,
dont let them ruin your life,
dont let them affect your whole being.
you look at things from a totally different perspective compared to me.
but i still understand what you mean.
for me,
after some time, i'll accept my fate.
but to you, its called self-deceiving.
i took a long time to digest that,
and i understood why.
cos for me, i would improve it,
but you will change it.
there's no right or wrong in life,
so maybe i was selfish on my part,
not to consider what you mean at the begining.
it was now till i realised,
what i said all along could have confused you,
cos we see things from a different angle.
i really wanna help you get out of this,
cos perhaps you din'nt know it,
you're changing.
i want to see the original you again,
dont always look back,
dont sink deeper in.
dont keep turning back,
or shoot yourself with words like "i should'nt have came",
cos regrets will only make you suffer more,
so why not continue your life happily?
i know its easier said than done,
but you have to try in order to know.
its the courage that you need,
the courage to tell yourself to move on.
its not easy, and it is'nt going to be easy.
how do i describe all these?
cos i told you that i was like this last year.
the new people,
caused me to really think im at the edge of this world.
but i struggled through,
and now when i think back,
i kinda thank those who made me struggle.
cos its through all these obstacles,
then i became a much stronger person.
see these really depressing problems as a challenge God give you in your life.
be a little optimistic,
and you'll see a brighter world.
tell yourself you can do it,
you can struggle through,
however i know its the courage thing again.
you gave me the courage once,
and now its my turn to give it to you.
always remember who you really are,
and never let anyone change it.
turn yourself in-side-out and ask,
do you really have that grudge?
no, you dont,
from what i can see.
cos u still care,
and i know it, and maybe you dont.
time will heal,
believe in yourself,
believe the true you.
somehow our minds cross,
and i can totally understand how you feel now.
if you feel lonely,
im here.
and im sorry,
the recent additional mess,
was somehow caused by me.
sorry, truely i am.
you've been juggling lots of stuff at one time already,
and my one-time carelessness added another burden to you.
i know you dont blame me,
but i feel gulilty.
so i really hope i'll help you through,
help you get out of it fast.
dont think so much,
cos the more you think,
the more you'll sink in.
start each day positively,
instead of saying its gonna be awful.
im writing this,
with what i really feel,
im not being pretentious,
for this i can totally assure you.
and i know you know it.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
today went jonas's house with yvonne and teresa to make chocolates for cip.whooo...
it was easy.
thought it would somehow be difficult.
so we melted the chocolates first
then we put them into these...
and then it went into the refrigerator for like 20 minutes plus...
TADA!!! it came out perfectly
Friday, March 21, 2008
on 8 march sec 4 and 5 ptm, me, dawn, jia ning, lindsey, yu wen and jolin helped in the sale of drinks for the cambodia fund-raising...it was tiring.
having to stand for so long and askin parents and students to buy;
making "posters" and "menus"...
but it was worthwhile.
we made more than $200.
got treated three times by teachers and parent helpers. haha.
1st treat by ms huang, with the brownies.
2nd treat by mr paul ng, with the cream puffs. ermm..each of us got only 1 though.
3rd treat by the parent helpers, with the cream puffs. we got three each!
business was'nt very good at the start, then slowly it picked up and sold all the canned drinks leaving with abundant packets of ice lemon tea drinks.
while helping saw mrs neo's daughter and son.
they were so small.
her daughter was just 1 year plus and her son, 3 years old only.
but that naughty little boy is'nt as small as he looks.
he scratched me when i touched his head.
hahaha.
then mrs neo scolded him.
got a few pictures of them but without mrs neo's permission i dare not post it on the internet.
then after everything we decided to go whitesands take neoprints.
yu wen could'nt go cos her mum din allow. jia ning went home already.
so the four of us went ahead to ws and took the perfect neoprints.
dunno how to use my scanner if not i would have uploaded them.
after neoprints jolin was in a hurry to do her project.
then left the three of us.
we went to the foodcourt and eat our lunch.
as usual, lindsey spida din't eat.
haha.
went home with lindsey on bus 12 while dawn took bus 3.
was damn tired from the day before's cross country however dont mind being tired in exchange for the once again happiness with guides. =]
the canned drinks and blobs of ice
the so-hard-to-sell packet drinks
water flowing from pail to the drain
ms huang's art from dawn's frog
Thursday, March 20, 2008
some random post here.and some random pics that i've taken really some time ago but din have the chance to post.
and now i shall just mix them all together and this post is rojak. xD
braided candy done by me and dawn in hmt
candy tree! another work of us!
"materials" used
the angel and the devil!
my baby couisin. sooooo cute!!!!!
caught her with her tounge out. xDD
the ezlink card me and joe yee found and returned to greenview. ps. he has the same bdae as joe yee. xP
poodle in the farmway??
gigantic dalmation
red and blue sea worm
clams
red and white sea worm
me sleeping during hmt (taken by teresa)
Monday, March 17, 2008
today went joe yee's house to do geography project. it ended up only me going.ok, my first encounter with a dog--in her house!
her doggie...
we did our project in the balcony so her dog could'nt enter when the door was closed.
then...i "got in touch" with her so big dog twice..
first time..
she let the dog in cos the dog kept wanting to get to her. i din'nt know dogs just love sniffing strangers. i was so nice to sniff.
i started sitting calmly then her dog began sniffing me.
so i got up and started walking around the small place and i dunno why my speed increased so ended up running round and round.
the faster i went the faster her dog chased me. and i was like running mad..
then i came to a corner and guess what? her dog stood on two legs and reached for my face.
and oh her dog is TALL.
the hysterical me, i cant remember what i did at that time but i think joe yee grabed her dog away from me.
phew..this summarised the first encounter.
second time..
joe yee's maid came out bringing her brother out and then the door open.
her dog managed to come out WITHOUT ME KNOWING and walked past me.
had a fright of my life.
suddenly a dog walked out!
then it started sniffing me again...
this time i sat still and she din'nt do anything much more than sniffing.
soon she went back inside.
hahaha...my first time getting close with such a big dog.
her dog's very cute luh but please doggie don't sniff me if i see u the next time.
managed to get a pic of her but she was behind the door so it was just a shadow.
however could see a dog's figure.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
went to zoo today with jing yi, joe yee and venus.our experience together was great.
let the pics tell our story.
these are'nt real
this was taken by some photographer that cost us $4.50!
leopard? jaguar? cheetah? confused.
waterfall!
this was'nt the noisy parrot
sea otter--swim so fast till i could'nt get a good pic
the very proud white tiger
hippos butt
some freak that appeared in some cartoon
desert lizard
what snake is this? forgot. so many types of snakes
emu
kangaroo. does this look like khairudy?
kangaroo again
fat baboon
their red butt!
baby baboon!
some smelly animal xD
i caught them on two legs!
polar bear
orang utan swinging
swinging again...
geography--look! shifting cultivation destroys life!
sunbear!
gigantic tortise, its 1m plus wide
trying to chew the leaves...
some reptile...
what snake is this now?
turtle
green snake! non-poisonous
baby turtles...
snake again...
a very thin green snake. can spot the head?
very venomous!
ah meng's monument
where ah meng was buried...
crocodile--teeth so sharp!
we took 1h to get here. our achievement!
jing yi's masterpiece!
our food. or rather joe yee's food.
froggie posing for me
bat--looks like a cocoon
dancing flower
once again leopard, jaguar or cheetah?
perfect post girl!
tall guy that i mistaken u for a tree
joe yee's species!
joe yee's husband xD
me! im short and black by joe yee
deers...
joe yee and her rhino story x]
penguins!
penguin swimming..like duck hor?
took so long to find you!
i found out that baby elephants could trip over their trunks. haha
jing yi's prince
flamingo!
